I spent some time playing “Monster Under the Bed” with a 5YO, 6YO, and 8YO a few days ago.

The 5YO made up this game and clearly had played it before, but wasn’t exactly clear when explaining the nuances of how to play — so as you’d expect, the rest of us frequently broke the rules/ didn’t play correctly.

We talked about the Monster when we weren’t supposed to know about the Monster yet, we put things under the bed that were too big or too small, and we definitely screwed up the big reveal — which apparently happens ‘a few days ago’ but also later than right now, so….

It was surely a little frustrating for the person who created the game (and for the players, too) but wow, what a perfect metaphor for life.

We (adults/society) have created this elaborate Game of Life with so many expectations and rules and we assume (expect?) that everyone else knows how to play.

We get frustrated that children don’t follow the rules — but we forget that we’ve had decades of practice.

We feel defeated when someone doesn’t live up to our expectations — but we often skip the important step of actually explaining (and asking for someone to agree to) what we think those expectations look like.

Sometimes, we even say that something is Not Scary when clearly it is Very Scary Right Now.

No wonder the Monster Under the Bed seems a little grumpy.

Yesterday, one of the little guys on my 7YO nephew’s baseball team made it to first base when he was up to bat. My brother, the coach at the base, gave him a high five and said “Your practice is really paying off!”

The boy smiled and said: “Well, I just opened my heart and then, boom! I hit the ball!”
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“I just opened my heart.” 😍

I don’t know much about baseball but I think that’s a pretty solid life strategy.

When our state started to shut things down, like most people, my husband and I started to think about what would be cancelled and what part of our lives would be changed. My husband stopped working, I adjusted to working from home, and our social lives were put on hold.

The event that was weighing on us the most was our daughter’s upcoming 4^th birthday. We had already started talking to her about her party, asking her to choose her party theme. She’s old enough to remember her last birthday, so she knows that her family should be coming to her house to celebrate with her. Quickly, we stopped talking about her birthday party, hoping that it would be forgotten.

How could we make this a special day for her? How could we ensure that she still feels loved, even though her family and friends wouldn’t be able to celebrate with her? We wanted to make sure we did our best to help her still feel connected to the routines and special traditions that she’s come to associate with birthdays.

We used every decoration that we had in the house. The rooms where we spend most of our day all got special treatment – complete with “lots of balloons”, as requested by our daughter.

We put a “Honk for Emery’s 4^th Birthday!” sign at the end of our driveway. We told Emery that the cars that honked was wishing her a happy birthday, and made a big deal of noticing the honks even when we were inside.

Family members came to visit – they were able to sing “Happy Birthday” to her in person! We talked with them from the porch while they stayed on the driveway. We’ve told Emery that people are getting sick, so she knew that she had to keep her distance.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all joined in a ZOOM meeting to sing to Emery and watch as she blew out her candles. She was able to talk to them about her day, and show them the presents she had received (very important for a 4 year old).

From the moment she woke up, we made sure that the whole day was about her.

We think that the day was a success – Emery seemed to enjoy her special day, and never even asked about having a party. Hopefully next year, we can throw her a big 5^th birthday bash!

We are so excited to welcome 200+ early childhood educators to Building Joyful Classrooms 2019. Registration details were sent by email, but are accessible here, too:

• If you are registered for TRACK 1, click here.
• If you are registered for TRACK 2, click here.

Presenters have been confirmed for Building Joyful Classrooms 2019, which will be held at ECC South Campus on Saturday, October 19. Check out this line up:

OPENING SESSION:

Our keynote address, CHOOSING JOY: WE WERE MADE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, will be presented by Dr. Lynn Lubecki (NYS Pyramid Model Master Cadre Trainer and Research Associate at the Rochester Children’s Institute). Dr. Lubecki won the first Pyramid Model Champion Award at the Pyramid Model National Meeting in 2018 and has worked in early childhood education for more than 20 years.

TRACK 1 WORKSHOPS:

• Loving Children: The Foundation for Understanding Development will be presented by Bridget Palmer (Liberty POST) and Kim Hauptman (Buffalo Hearing and Speech).
• Infant Toddler Specialists, Maryann Ciskal and Kelly Janese, will present Routines & Expectations: Blueprints for Success.
• Megan Coltoniak, conference chairperson and owner of Bloom Creative Arts, will present Fix it Before It Breaks: Musical Strategies to Help Your Day.
• Gerald Smith (Help Me Grow) and Denise Roty (Buffalo Hearing and Speech) return for an encore presentation of Healthy Social Development: Tools for Teaching.

TRACK 2 WORKSHOPS:

• Which Love Languages are you Speaking? will be presented by Lindsay Leusch (Kangarootime).
• Specialists from Best Self will present an Intro to Teacher-Child Interaction Therapy (TCIT) and Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT).
• Preventative Strategies to Add to Your Toolkit will be presented by Shannon Ochal (Gateway) and Amanda McPhereson (Bloom Creative Arts).

 CLOSING SESSION:

• A Make & Take Session will be facilitated by Silvia Steele (Holy Cross Head Start).
• An introduction to Radiant Child Yoga will be presented by Sarah & Vito Gigante (Cantalician Center for Learning).
• A Leadership Debrief for Directors will be facilitated by Christina Fecio, Educational Consultant and WNY Behavior Collaboration chairperson.

Need more event info? Check out the flyer here and order tickets here.

3YO: “I love the card with the princess.”

♠️ How old were you when you realized the Ace of Spades (Bicycle brand) card has a “princess” in the middle? I was “today years old” 😂

This made me laugh, of course, but it also reminded me of two important things.

✅ Young children are *so* observant. They notice everything — whether you want them to or not! As I discussed with a group of teachers last night: when you choose to spend time with children, you’re choosing to be a role model.

✅ You see what you are looking for. It’s not a coincidence that my ‘3YO-always in a dress-tiara loving-princess obsessed’ niece noticed the “princess” in the deck of cards. Human beings are hardwired to look for familiarity and for confirmation…which is why it’s so important to “think about what you think.”

👎🏻 If you’re a teacher who believes that a child is challenging, you’re more likely to find evidence of challenging behavior.

👎🏻 If you’re a coworker who believes that your colleague is lazy/not hardworking, you’re more likely to find evidence of subpar performance … and so on.

Fortunately, the opposite also holds true.

❤️ If you’re a person who believes in positive intent, you’re more likely to find evidence of generous, thoughtful behavior.

❤️ If you’re a person who believes in optimism (the “that glass is refillable!” kind), you’re more likely to find evidence of second chances, resilience, and kindness.

You can see the princess… but you have to look for it first. ❤️